The first message sets the tone for the entire conversation. Avoid generic openers like "hey" or "hi"—they get lost in the inbox. Instead, craft a thoughtful opener that shows you've actually looked at their profile and are genuinely interested.
Reference Their Profile
The best first messages reference something specific from the other person's profile. Mention a hobby they listed, a photo that caught your eye, or something they wrote about themselves. This demonstrates attention and sincerity.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Questions that can't be answered with "yes" or "no" encourage engaging conversation. Instead of "Do you like music?" try "What's the best concert you've been to lately?" This invites a story rather than a one-word response.
Examples That Work
Need inspiration? Here are proven openers:
- "I see you're into hiking—what's your favorite trail around Nashville?"
- "Your profile mentions you love the Ryman. What's the best show you've seen there?"
- "That photo at the farmers market made me hungry! What's your favorite thing to buy there?"
- "You seem passionate about local music. Any recommendations for upcoming shows?"
What to Avoid
Steer clear of compliments about appearance in your first message—they're overused and can feel superficial. Don't use pickup lines or be overly flirtatious initially. And never send "hey" or "hi"—if you can't be more creative than that, you're unlikely to get a reply.
Keep It Concise
First messages should be brief but thoughtful. Two to three sentences is ideal—long enough to be engaging, short enough that reading doesn't feel like a chore. Save the deeper conversation for when they respond.
Follow Through When They Reply
When someone responds, actually read their message and reply thoughtfully. Ask follow-up questions, share your own experiences, and keep the conversation flowing. The goal is to build a connection, not just score a reply.
Be Patient
Not everyone will respond immediately—or at all. That's okay. Keep sending thoughtful messages to people who interest you. Quality connections take time to develop.
Conclusion
A great first message is just the beginning. Once you've matched, focus on building genuine conversation. Ready to put these tips into practice? Join Nashville Chat and start meeting interesting local singles today.